Title: The Weight Of Rain
Author: Mariah Dietz
Genre: New Adult
Release Date: October 27, 2015
One night changed my life—one that I barely remember.
When I close my eyes, my mind paints a picture of his smile and shades the contours of his hands, the deep scar around his bicep.
I'm an artist, yet my hands are unsteady. With his presence, he has unknowingly broken that something inside of me that makes me who I am.
Being around him is like standing in a rainstorm. First the drops tickle my skin, and then they coat me, refusing to be ignored. Finally, they soak into me, reaching parts of me I don’t think anyone has ever touched.
When dreams turn into reality, will the picture in my mind transfer to paper?
When I close my eyes, my mind paints a picture of his smile and shades the contours of his hands, the deep scar around his bicep.
I'm an artist, yet my hands are unsteady. With his presence, he has unknowingly broken that something inside of me that makes me who I am.
Being around him is like standing in a rainstorm. First the drops tickle my skin, and then they coat me, refusing to be ignored. Finally, they soak into me, reaching parts of me I don’t think anyone has ever touched.
When dreams turn into reality, will the picture in my mind transfer to paper?
Excerpt
“Why are you fidgeting again?” Allie’s scolding is in the form of a whisper but still reaches my ears as a yell because I know by the sharp look in her eye that she’s ready to stab me with a pin if I don’t stop.
“Sorry,” I whisper. I work to ignore an itch on the back of my neck and another on my shoulder. As I think about how much I hate standing still and why I didn’t see King at all today though he always works in the home office on Fridays, I feel several more tickles across my skin that arise because I know I can’t move.
My eyes scan over the large space that we’re filling. There are at least two hundred other students in here, each with a model who, like me, is standing atop a crate, making a select few of us even more uncomfortably tall. Several people look perfectly relaxed as they stand completely still, their shoulders back and chins raised as though they’re already on stage. My eyes trace over each of them, noticing their poise, boldness, and beauty.
“She’s really pretty.”
Allie’s looks up at me with minimal interest. “Who?”
“The girl over there with the dark blond hair.” I nod in the direction of where she’s standing.
“You’re an artist, Lo. She’s definitely pretty, but her confidence is what makes her stand out so much.”
Allie’s comment makes me stare longer at the girl, noticing her eyes are a little too close together, and her forehead too short to be what is believed to be the definition of attractive. It brings me to hate those ignorant facts even more because she is beautiful, and I’m grateful she seems to believe so without meeting the dictated standards.
“Lo,” Allie hisses in warning, making my hand drop from where it’s rubbing across my mostly bare thigh.
“You should really consider asking Kenzie.”
“I would have if I had known you have ADHD. What’s with you?”
“I don’t know.”
“It’s because you can’t draw, huh?” My attention drops to Allie as she places another pin along the hemline.
“That’s definitely not helping.”
“When do you think you’ll be able to hold a pencil again? Are your professors freaking out?”
“I don’t know. I’m hoping by the end of this week so I can draw while I’m home for Christmas.”
“Are you excited?”
Her gaze remains fixed on the dress as I raise my eyebrows, her question sinking into my thoughts. “I guess. I don’t know.”
“You don’t talk about your family much.” Allie’s eyes dart to mine for just a fraction of a second, but I’m sure it’s long enough to notice mine working to evade contact.
“There’s not a whole lot to say.”
“What happened to your mom this week?” I feel her briefly glance up again before moving her hands to a new spot where she begins measuring the fabric for the next pin.
“Something came up. I’m sure I’ll see her after the holidays. You know how this time of year is.”
She places a white chalk pencil between her teeth and nods slowly as if debating that it’s the correct response. She frees it again, intently focusing on the fabric, and places a careful mark. “You aren’t mad?”
I shrug, earning a glare from her that I return with a frown. Her lips fall open into a laugh. “You just need to focus on someone and mentally draw them; otherwise, you’re never going to make it out of here tonight, at least not without a thousand pinholes.”
My neck twists as I look around the room again. There are so many people in here. So much beauty, anticipation, desire, and passion: things I seek for my own inspiration, yet when I close my eyes and start sketching lines across my imagination, they don’t make up anyone that’s in here. I think I’d be surprised at this point if they ever do again. There are times like yesterday when I genuinely wish I hated him. Hell, he’s been a jackass to me enough that I could justifiably say I do, and anyone would be able to understand where I’m coming from. Then again, that would also require having someone to discuss my feelings for and interactions with him.
I wish I hadn’t been exposed to the kinder sides of him.
I wish I didn’t see how he acts around Mercedes to witness his unconditional love for her.
I wish my memories of that night were fading rather than becoming clearer.
I wish I wasn’t falling for this asshole.
I wish he’d fall for me.
I could do my normal type of review for this book but I just can’t find a way to express what I took from this book in that style. I have read other books by this author and thought I knew what to expect when I started this one, soon I found I was wrong. While there are areas that didn’t live up to my expectations, other areas exceeded my wildest dreams and I walked away from the plot with a greater understanding and appreciation for my own life and experiences.
The synopsis gives you an idea of what you are about to encounter and yet leaves a few surprises for you so I will avoid giving you the traditional overview of the plot and go straight to what I gained from reading about Lo and King. A tradition in Japan constantly came to mind as I was reading Lo’s story. When a bowl or plate is broken, instead of throwing it away, they fill the cracks with gold so it can still be used and become even more beautiful because of the valuable material used to seal the breaks. This was Lo to me. She viewed herself through the mirror she had inherited from people of her past and it distorted who she really was.
I could relate to her, she guarded her heart, refused to let people into her safe circle. She couldn’t communicate with others in a way she felt comfortable with so she used her talent of drawing to sort out her thoughts, reflect on her memories and engage with others. After having an uncharacteristic encounter with King, her mind was consumed with possibilities that should and would never belong to her. Her life was not deserving of the happiness King could bring from just one night.
As I have found in my many years and saw reflected in this story, life has a way of offering chances for dreams you never dared dream to come true. Usually what holds a person back is the fear of risking what is left of their heart. This chance came knocking on Lo’s door and she took it because it seemed innocent and safe, what could happen when your job is a nanny? Well it drew King back into her life and with that; he offered her a chance to hold a new mirror in which to look at, the same mirror in which he saw her as, beautiful, strong, loving and talented.
This is a story of deciding which mirror you choose to look at. Lo had to learn how to allow others to see the beauty of her soul and debunk the lies she had been told about who she really was from the past. Why is it always easier to believe the people who want to tear you down instead of trusting the ones who want to build you up? This is what Lo had to learn and not only did King help but so did the little girl she was in charge of. It was a case of how seeing the strength and positives in other “survivors” can sometimes help you see the same deep within yourself.
I loved this story’s message; I loved King and what he was determined to do. It is a powerful story that everyone with the wrong mirror should read. Maybe by watching Lo find the truth, it will help others find their own truth as well.
Mariah Dietz lives in Eastern Washington with her husband and two sons that are the axis of her crazy and wonderful world.
Mariah grew up in a tiny town outside of Portland, Oregon where she spent the majority of her time immersed in the pages of books that she both read and created.
She has a love for all things that include her sons, good coffee, books, travel, and dark chocolate. She also has a deep passion for the stories she writes, and hopes readers enjoy the journeys she takes them on, as much as she loves creating them.
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